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Article: Three Phases Of Communication
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If you observed a complete communications event, you would notice three distinct phases:
• done with the intention to find common ground, build connection, context and intimacy for conversation that enables the ability to speak to another's listening.
• done with the intent to explore options and possibilities based on common ground, which requires listening for what is missing and articulation of new options, opportunities and potential.
• done with the intention to coordinate action, complete tasks, projects and accomplish goals. Requires making clear requests and promises and articulating conditions of satisfaction (what, by when, by whom and how).
Since the communications process of our day has little use for listening deeply, it has devolved into subtle or overt bouts that only serve the purpose of getting what we believe we want, need or deserve. Since little room has been left for the Art of Listening, the communications process, as it is largely practiced today, skips the first two phases of conversation with most of the emphasis placed on the third; as in, what are you going to do for me now?
It is for this reason, coupled with the stress of today, that most of the energy inherent in conversation goes to obtaining the commitment for the action we want. This is not communications, this is "taking" and not "receiving," as it is devoid of deep listening, which deprives both parties of hearing, learning and being transformed by something new.
• A good mix of the three
• A natural progression from relationship >>> possibility >>> outcome
• The greater the stakes the more important the progression becomes
• Everyone is having the same type of conversation at the same time
• All parties are competent in each type of conversation